I n ã d ə q u a t ë I should warn you that this excerpt of all I am feeling will not be eloquent. But it will be sincere. Because you will never read it. I have felt these words like a weight in my chest, until I find myself amazed that a heart .. this heart. My heart can go on beating under such a burden I love you. I don't know how or why. So desperately, violently, tenderly, so completely. I love you in ways that I know you would find shocking. You don't belong with a woman like me. Even after all that I've felt for you. I find my own desperation simply inadequate. Just as I felt .. worthless and inadequate in every way when my mother came to visit after all the years she has left me. Worthless and inadequate .. when she handed me a doll. My very first dollI .. and her inadequate love-- I was fifteen. I found no use for that doll. It was just as worthless and indequate .. to express how one should love and should be loved. And I swore not to love like her. My mother's love was a lifetime too late and a doll short. I swore not to be like her. As it turns out, I am just as worthless .. as inadequate in love. Worse, in fact And still I want to love you .. as inadequate as I. And I want to kiss every soft place of you, your heart .. your soul. To love you. To dote on you until you weep .. deeply loved and I'd dry every tear with my lips. If you only knew how I crave .. how I need too much of you. A lifetime of nights spent loving you wouldn't be enough. And I would remember every word you've ever said to me .. every move, every scent .. and every cell of you intertwined braiding yourself into me .. my every living, breathing being of me. And even that is inadequate .. in all the ways I want to love you And you would say .. you would ask how I could be so certain .. the impossibility .. the distance, the lakes and mountains .. the oceans between us. But as inadequate as I and all the love I've felt, still I want to love you .. so desperately, violently, tenderly, so completely Still I want to love you .. as inadequate as I. _____________________________________ by collar._bone

I n ã d ə q u a t ë I should warn you that this excerpt of all I am feeling will not be eloquent. But it will be sincere. Because you will never read it. I have felt these words like a weight in my chest, until I find myself amazed that a heart .. this heart. My heart can go on beating under such a burden I love you. I don't know how or why. So desperately, violently, tenderly, so completely. I love you in ways that I know you would find shocking. You don't belong with a woman like me. Even after all that I've felt for you. I find my own desperation simply inadequate. Just as I felt .. worthless and inadequate in every way when my mother came to visit after all the years she has left me. Worthless and inadequate .. when she handed me a doll. My very first dollI .. and her inadequate love-- I was fifteen. I found no use for that doll. It was just as worthless and indequate .. to express how one should love and should be loved. And I swore not to love like her. My mother's love was a lifetime too late and a doll short. I swore not to be like her. As it turns out, I am just as worthless .. as inadequate in love. Worse, in fact And  still I want to love you .. as inadequate as I. And I want to kiss every soft place of you, your heart .. your soul. To love you. To dote on you until you weep .. deeply loved and I'd dry every tear with my lips. If you only knew how I crave .. how I need too much of you. A lifetime of nights spent loving you wouldn't be enough. And I would remember every word you've ever said to me .. every move, every scent .. and every cell of you intertwined braiding yourself into me .. my every living, breathing being of me. And even that is inadequate .. in all the ways I want to love you And you would say .. you would ask how I could be so certain .. the impossibility .. the distance, the lakes and mountains .. the oceans between us. But as inadequate as I and all the love I've felt, still I want to love you .. so desperately, violently, tenderly, so completely Still I want to love you .. as inadequate as I. _____________________________________ by collar._bone

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

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